Infertility, Grief and Loss
Infertility and pregnancy loss can create painful emotional distress in day-to-day life. While miscarriage and infertility are common (1 in every 4 and 1 in every 6, respectively), the complicated, deeply aching pain of the process is rarely talked about.
Being diagnosed and treated for infertility can result in symptoms similar to trauma: nightmares, avoiding certain people, places and things, flashbacks, depression, etc. Alongside the hope for the family you yearn for is often fear, guilt, sadness and anger. Whether you have recently realized your dream of becoming a parent may not be possible in the way you hoped, have just begun infertility treatment, or you have already experienced great loss related to trying to conceive, having a safe space to talk through every feeling with someone who understands can help you find peace in the process.
Losing a child, either in pregnancy or early childhood, will change you. My hope is to hold space for you to feel the grief, honor your child, and, eventually, find a way forward, helping you hold what feels impossible.
My EXperience and training
Throughout my own experiences with infertility, I saw how complicated the emotional roller coaster could feel: big hopes and equally big fears; navigating a medical and insurance system; the taboo of talking about infertility, miscarriage and fears of another; being financially and emotionally “tapped out;” and the assumptions of others that I was “okay again" when my twin boys were born. Throughout our process involving various doctors, nurses, and other health care professionals, not a single person suggested mental health care as a part of their standard of care recommendations. My personal experience led me to focus my professional attention on infertility, pursuing continuing education and exploring various ways to provide support throughout each possible outcome. I know that not everyone will become a parent even if utilizing Assisted Reproductive Technology and finding peace with this outcome can be extraordinarily difficult.
My approach will be trauma-informed and will acknowledge the profound ways that infertility (and possible treatments) can overload your system. I will meet you with gentleness, hope, and compassion. I will never encourage you to “keep trying” or to “give up” (though we will explore these possibilities and what they may mean for you) nor can I provide empty promises that you will end up with the family of your dreams even though I will hope for that alongside you. I will give you space to talk through your experiences and needs with attentiveness to what your whole-self is experiencing and needing.